The Perfectly Groomed Nails of the Lazy Coder

I'm a nail biter by nature, but from time to time if I'm not doing any gardening, moving furniture or having any personal traumas my nails have the capacity to grow extremely long. For some reason when I'm working and it doesn't matter if I'm doing my accounts, coding a website or writing an essay I'm guaranteed to be biting my nails. The fact that my nails are currently so long tells me that not only have I not done any of the above this week,  but that I haven't done any of the above for over a month.

I had so many plans for this summer and as it gets closer and closer to winter it's blatantly obvious that none of them are going to get done. Now when I say I haven't done anything this summer I have. I've been taking care of my family and doing a very good job of it.  I also did an internship at a leading Manchester digital agency but if I'm going to catch up with the mouthy teenage boys (see earlier post) then I need to be doing a lot more than I am currently.

The problem with summer is firstly it seems to be so much longer than it actually is and for some reason despite being a parent for over half my life I still expect to get things done whilst there are children in the house. (How have I not learnt that yet?) I also forget that if I need to concentrate on something that having Spongebob on in the background, half the neighbours kids screaming in the garden or a tired, beautiful and slightly spoilt two year old anywhere near me is simply not going to work. In a years time when my coding is better than it is now and I don't have to keep refering to my text books every two minutes I'll be able to manage more distractions than I can now. I'm currently the equivilent of a learner driver. I can drive, but I can't go faster than 25 mph and I struggle with three point turns and hill starts. I need more practice which I can't get with my entourage,  so next years summer plan is to firstly reduce the sheer volume of things I aim to do over the summer. In March it seemed perfectly reasonable that I'd be able to -

1. Look after my family,
2. Do an internship, 
3. Decorate my bathroom,
4. Write 3 websites,
5. Makeover my garden,
6. Finish my tax return, 
7. Practice my dressmaking skills
8. Declutter my office.

As I sit here on the last day of August I've actually only done the first 2 things on the list. I did my internship before the kids finished school for the summer and I've spent the rest of the summer looking after them and whining about how many things I didn't get done. The problem with moaning is that it doesn't get stuff done, it just makes you feel miserable and inadequate. At the end of the day what is more important than looking after your children? If I had a great garden and a full portfolio of fantastic websites but I'd neglected my kids in the process, then the negative voices in my head would have a lot more to complain about.

 
I'm entirely confident that I have the mental capacity to get my degree, the potential for disaster lies in the logistics and planning elements and unfortunately I have a tendancy to go one of two ways. I'm either an OCD style obsessive or I'm a complete tool.  OCD mode involves colour co-ordinated folders, clip boards, wall planners and all manner of nerdiness. Tool mode involves doing none of the above and wishing I had. OCD mode gets things done and allows me to indulge my fetish for buying new stationery. Tool mode has no upside. It's just me acting like a tool and in most cases heading towards epic failure. My natural state is one of disorganisation and mayhem, which is generally cancelled out by my ability to fly by the seat of my pants and scrape by at the last minute. I'm probably at my most productive when I'm running out of time and about to get myself into a big pile of brown stuff, but it's no fun. I also set myself very high standards so although the report / essay / tax return / dressmaking assignment is generally OK, I know full well that it could have, and in fact would have been so much better if I'd spent more time on it and not driven myself to the edge of a breakdown in the process.

I'm not sure if my inner obsessive is age related or whether I just got sick and tired of my own stupidity, the problem is that unfortunately I've been acting like a tool for a lot longer than I've been organised so I have to work really hard at it. The problem with being a full time student is that it doesn't feel full time. I've worked full time since I was 16 and frankly the 12 hours a week contact time, doesn't feel like I'm working full time so I imagine that I have a lot of time and should therefore be able to get loads of things done. I'm mentally discounting travel time, trips to the library, online research and all the other activities I do, simply because they don't take place at a specific time and / or in a university building. I used to work regular 16 and 18 hour days 5 days a week and then go home and get my laptop out to do work emails. No wonder I'm expecting to be bored silly with all my free time. The problem with my free time is that it creates a vacuum that is automatically filled. If I utilise the obsessive half of my nature and plan how long these extra activities are likely to take I'd realise that I don't actually have that much full time and the free time I do have, isn't enough to fit in even half of the things I want to get done. This academic year, my goals are to avoid the self induced panic attacks of trying to do too many different things and to embrace my inner obsessive. Granted she doesn't seem to be much fun, sitting around with her diary allocating every hour of her time, but on balance she's a lot more fun that the Lucozade fuelled, sleep deprived, slightly psychotic maniac she replaces.

The Fascination With Facebook

Since I've already done a post about Twitter, it seemed only right that I spout my opinions about Facebook so here goes.

I joined Facebook a few years ago and within 24 hours I'd been poked by two people, been invited to join the mafia and had a sheep thrown at me. Huh? At the time I was juggling a family with ridiculously long work hours, so I dumped it. I simply didn't have the time or the patience to figure it out. Which is exactly what I did with Twitter and am currently doing with LinkedIn. Essentially I like to do stuff I'm good at. If I don't get the hang of something straight away, unless I definitely need whatever it is,  I'm liable to just abandon it. I generally return at a later date, but if it's new and unneccessary then it'd better make sense.

I'm fairly good with IT. I get the hang of new software relatively easily but I have very limited patience for things that takes up my time without entertaining me. Annoying tasks such as setting up printers when you don't have the original disc, that sort of thing. It's not fun. It's not entertaining. Messing about online downloading drivers that never work first time gets in the way of my original task. It also makes me feel stupid because it shouldn't take that long. After the first quarter of an hour there is always swearing and usually threats to launch bits of hardware through windows, which is ridiculous and knowing that makes me even more angry. My SheHulk rages are of course completely wasted because printers don't generally respond to threats.

Unlike my need to print lecture notes and Paypal packing slips, Facebook isn't an essential in my life, so when I tried using it and didn't understand what was going on I just opted out. I later discovered that the trick is to treat Facebook like pick & mix and only bother with the bits you like. If you don't like sherbert saucers or playing Texas Holdem Poker then ignore them and pick the bits you do like. 

Despite some academic studies (which I know I should bother referencing) suggesting that spending time online stops people being sociable in real life, I find that Facebook keeps me connected to people. There are people I regularly speak to on Facebook that I would have almost certainly lost contact with, such as old work colleagues, simply because I no longer physically see them on a regular basis. With former colleagues and an increasing number of relatives, Facebook is how I find out the major events in people's lives. Unfortunately I also find out their scores on Jewelled Blitz, Mafia Wars and how many bushels of imaginary tomatoes they need to harvest, but Facebook apps aside, it's a nice low key way to stay connected to my friends. I can send birthday greetings, congratulations, comisserations and of course join in an assortment of ongoing discussions. This week alone I've given my opinion on whether a friend should have her hair cut, welcomed my great nephew to the world, promoted a friends band and planned a trip to next years V Festival.

Whilst some of my Facebook friends only have occasional contact with me, there are other people in my life that I regularly speak to on the phone, text and see face to face, so with or without Mr Zuckerberg's creation we'd have stayed in touch - those people now talk to me on Facebook as well.

When I use Twitter I think what I'd like to say and share it knowing full well that it can and will be viewed by people I don't know. When I post things on Facebook I'm talking to a group of people I know in real life. Having a brain in my head, I'm well aware that what I say isn't private, but the context of my conversations is that of somebody speaking to people she knows. If I'm whiney, depressed, random or on my soapbox, I'm doing so in a virtual room full of people who know the real me. I know that the virtual room also has a few people in it that I don't know, such as people in the networks of my facebook friends, but since I don't do anything illegal or post scantily clad pictures I'm not too worried. What does worry me on the other hand is people who don't use their brains when they operate their Facebook accounts or rather people I know and care about, who don't use their brains when they operate their facebook accounts. 

Auntie Claire's Facebook Tips

• Don't accept people as a friend if you don't have a clue who they are.
• Don't accept people as a friend if you know them and hate their guts.
• Don't use your Facebook wall to issue death threats.
• Don't share details of your sexual exploits on your facebook wall. (This is particularly important if you've decided to add your parents and grandparents as Facebook friends.)

You've probably guessed that some people use their Facebook slightly differently to me and observing their online life, frankly makes me glad I'm old! I'm not much of a party animal these days but it's comforting to know that the internet does not contain photographs of me flat on my face in Bolton, Blackpool or Manchester town centre after too many bottles of Diamond White. Not because I haven't been as drunk as a skunk and fallen on the floor in all of those places, but simply because it was before everybody took their camera phones on nights out, captured every minute and uploaded them to Facebook. When Steven Sasson invented the digital camera I'm sure he didn't realise that he was ruining the lives of many in the next generation, but at some point those revealing profile pics, online arguments and digital photographic record of every social occasion will come back to haunt a lot of people.

The Facebook pick and mix allows users to do different things, I primarily use it to talk to my friends and the thing I love about it the most is the fact that I can post something on my wall and my real life friends respond. I have a full blown 24 hour support network. My friends gave me helpful suggestions on how to get eye drops into a small child - without the use of a headlock. They've also been there for me on those days when I wondered what on earth I've done with my life reminding me of my good points and / or telling me to shut up moaning and get on with it. You can use Facebook to do a lot of things. You can sell things in it's market place, promote your business with a Facebook Page and show your support for any and every cause under the sun. You can use it productively or you can waste several hours a day on it but if you manage to find the usage that works for you (and ignore the online antics of some of your relatives)  Facebook can be fascinating and an added bonus is Mr Zuckerberg lets you can type as many characters as you like.

Aren't You A Bit Old To Be A Student?

Being a mature student has it's pro's and cons. One the one hand I have life experience, motivation and over 20 years of experience in the workplace but on the other hand the household logistics are a nightmare, I'm old and I have to spend a lot of time with cocky 18 year old boys (not in the good way)

When I started university I was brand new to web design and programming, so sitting there listening to a group of young lads complaining loudly that they'd been using Dreamweaver since they were in Year 10 was a bit worrying. I'd never used it in my life. When I was in Year 10 it was still called 4th Year and we learnt BBC Basic. At this point I started to wonder exactly what I'd let myself in for. Would everybody else know more than me? Would I be able to keep up? Will I manage 3 years without slapping any annoying teenage boys?

The good news is that the mouthy teenage boys were only a tiny percentage of the class, so whilst they deemed learning HTML to be below them, the majority of the class just went with the flow and got on with it. I wasn't the only person who was new at this, so I was just like everybody else - just older. The other good news is that although Dreamweaver is a fantastic tool, it's not the only way to build websites.

Being old enough to be everybody's Mum isn't ideal, but when my Marketing lecturers start talking about 1980's television ad campaigns, being the only other person in the room who was actually born at the time is a definite advantage. Explaining Cadbury's Smash to people under the age of 20 is practically a seminar in itself, so that particular day being old was a bonus. We had similar discussions about the chimps in the PG Tips TV ads. Dressing up chimpanzees and getting them to play the piano and drink tea just isn't as popular as it once was in advertising.

There are two main disadvantages to being a mature student. One is logistics and the other is the ageing process. Personally I don't think that 18 is the best age for most people to spend 3 years of their life and an obscene amount of money on their development, but on the other hand carrying a rucksack full of very heavy text books would have been a damn sight easier if  I was still 18.  For the first time ever I'm using both straps on my ruck sack. I have to, other wise by the time I graduate there is a very real posibility that I'll have a hump like quasi modo. I'm too old to be cool so I might as well do my spine a favour and distribute the weight evenly. I'm not particularly hung up on my looks or obsessed about my age but developing those first few lines around my eyes and discovering my first couple of grey hairs when you're permanently surrounded by people half your age is just depressing. The good news is that as long as you wear a hoodie you can usually blend in and people still hand you flyers for foam parties and all nighters. I have no intention of going to most of them but I feel strangely upset when they don't invite me. Unfortunately being regularly dressed as a 12 year old boy is definitely NOT the best look for me. 

The biggest downside to being a mature student isn't actually my age - it's my lifestyle (using the term very loosely) or more specifically the logistics of my lifestyle. The majority of people at university are in the 18-21 age bracket, have no children, live in or around campus and as such can arrange the rest of their life around their timetable. It's not the university's fault that some of us don't fit the mould, but that won't stop me whining about it. I know that sharing details at the last minute is the only way the university can finalise numbers and co-ordinate the timetables of 30,000 people, but finding out your timetable the week before you start your lectures is a pain in the neck if you need to co-ordinate family logistics. Most students don't have to arrange childcare and / or euphonium lessons and most of my fellow students will never have to miss lectures because reading week isn't the same time as half term or because half of year one caught Chicken Pox.

So in answer to the question "Aren't you a bit old to be a student?" in the words of Phineas from Disney's Phineas and Ferb "Yes, yes I am"

The Wonderful World of Twitter

I originally joined Twitter when a guy I hardly know, accidentally clicked the link which automatically sends invites to everyone in their email address book. I used my nickname, which was also the name of the shop I owned at the time, and intended to use it as a marketing strategy for the shop. I had no idea how, but it was free so it made sense to try it.  So there I was in 2008 with my new Twitter account. I gave it a go, but struggled so much with the concept of only communicating in 140 characters that I pretty much gave up. I re-engaged with Twitter when I got to Uni and was advised that the industry I'd decided to be a part of used Twitter in a big way (which they do) so I decided to give it another go. I started following a few celebrities and made some random tweets.

I'm currently on Twitter under multiple personalities. The original account, which I now use as my personal one, is where I follow my real life friends and a handful of celebrities. Last year I registered another name as a more official(ish) account to help with my ongoing education. Instead of George Michael, Simon Pegg and Stephen Fry,  @WorthyOnTheWeb follows people like Zeldman, Steve Krug and the Web Standardistas along with speakers from the various events I attend, an assortment of online writers and new contacts connected with digital media. The more I engaged with Twitter the more I "got it". I stopped trying to use it in the same way that I use Facebook and it all made a lot more sense.

I'm a big fan of word Free and learning new stuff, so one of my many regular activities is attending free lectures and other events which combines the best of both worlds. As with any new thing there are terms you don't understand and stuff that everyody else seems to know how to do and Twitter was no exception. At my first event I didn't understand the concept of hashtags. I also couldn't believe that people were not only allowed, but actively encouraged, to play with their phones and iPads during speaker presentations. I decided to try and join in and quickly realised that I didn't know how. This is where multiple Twitter accounts came in handy. It let me try using hashtags amongst other things in tweets from my personal account to make sure I was doing it right before I tried it in my new persona. This reduced the risk of looking like a muppet whilst I got the hang of things. Maybe George Michael should have tried the same thing, then he wouldn't have had to put up wth some smart arsed journalist taking the mickey out of him because he didn't do his links correctly, made a mess of hashtags and told the world what he had for lunch and time he was going to the dentist. Personally the fact that he writes as a real, ridiculously famous but still real, person is one of the reasons I follow him. I'm certainly not an obsessive George Michael fanatic but for some reason, I really felt the need to defend his right to tweet whatever he wanted to.  That's the point of Twitter. You can tweet whatever you want - within reason. People don't have to follow you. I can unfollow George anytime I want to. If I decide that Simon Pegg's use of the C Word offends me I can just click the button. It doesn't as it happens, but the option is there anytime I want. With his vast wealth, hired staff and inevitable entourage I'm sure that George didn't partcularly need me to rise up and defend him against some toss pot journalist who was using his fame as a easy way to score points, but for some reason I felt the need to tweet him my support anyway (and then tweet about it)  At the end of the day some celebrities use Twitter purely as a way of telling you what they have for sale, whilst other celebrities use Twitter to write tweets that amuse and entertain you, share their personal views on things, tell you what they had for lunch and occasionally / regularly tell you what they have for sale. The 'and' is the bit that makes the difference.

So that's my personal experience of Twitter. I still prefer to make notes during events rather than tweet during the presentions, but at least now I know how to.

Welcome to Tangent Land

The official purpose behind the blog is to cover my developmental journey from mature student and geek wannabe to a paid professional in the digital media industry, but I know for a fact that I'm bound to write stuff which has absolutely nothing to do with that journey. The first few entries will cover my back story and help you catch up with the story so far.  Assuming I don't bore you too much with my domestic gibberish and occasional regular multiple topic rantings, the ongoing posts will be about the things I'm experiencing in my journey.

This isn't my first blog. I've started several others in the past, in fact there are definitely a couple roaming around the internet unattended and unloved. I'm not sure what that says about the chances for this one but for now lets assume that I'm going to be the most awesome and attentive blogger the world has ever known and see how we get on.

As with most watchers of TV makeover shows I'm a big fan of the before and after moment so I like to try and record my progress on the various "projects" in my life but for some reason I didn't feel the need to do so with my current journey, until Richard Eskins, one of my lecturers said that I should start a blog. After he'd said it another two or three times I decided that I should start a blog. (What a coincidence)  My desire to be teacher's pet (and employed when I graduate) meant that I didn't need much persuading, so here I am.

Hopefully writing this blog will demonstrate positive attributes to potential employers, provide me with the "before and after" moments I'm so fond of, and improve my writing. It would also be really good if I could turn out to be a fantastically entertaining, be discovered as a writer and make an obscene amount of money. Realistically it's more likely that I'll spend the next couple of years sporadically firing my musings into the internet and a couple of my mates will find it entertaining, but there's only one way to find out isn't there?

Welcome to Tangent Land.